i've known this since i was 8. i truly believe that i was born that way and that it wasnt just social factors. im not bi to "follow a trend" i certainly know some people claim to be bi to get attention or try to cover that they are homosexual but bi people do exist.
i believe that gay, straight and bisexual people exist. bi-curious is a term that i dont believe in because its basically used as a cover by people who dont believe in bisexuality to explain an interest in bisexual behaviour. i do agree that for some bisexuality is a 'phase' but at the same time i dont agree because you're either bisexual or you're not at the end of the raging hormones etc, and yet this 'phase' can be convincing to ones self that they are bi when the end they arent. i however think i am definatly bi because ive known i was attracted to both sexes since i was 8 and for girls, most puberty changes happen at around the age of 13. the only people who know that im bi are my boyfriend of a year and almost 2 months now, ben lee (who was my best friend before we finally took the plunge into a romantic relationship), my little sister amanda who is 16(i have two little sisters though)my very tightknit group of close friends, and unfortunatly my ex-best friend (who was my friend for 6 of the 19 years of my life so far, and her boyfriend who changed her into the horrible person she is today.) i want to clarify a few things:
1. i love my boyfriend very much and will never cheat on him with a male or female.
2. i am attracted to both sexes though males a bit more than females (yes that is possible see below) and if i had never dated ben, i would be dating a male. my family is catholic and presbyterian, i am catholic and i wouldnt want any controversy about my partner in my life. that's not to say that i would rather be dating a female right now, that's definatly not true.
3. i will never come out to my parents. im not ashamed of being bi but i dont want them to be ashamed of me.
anyways i thought that since there are so many assumptions and misconceptions about bisexuals that i would explain what i feel and believe about them.
1. bisexuals are just confused people who decide to be greedy
this is certainly not true. bisexual people dont crush on everyone, we have our 'type' like straight and gay people do. mine for example is brown eyes black hair and muscular but not massive (ben fits nicely into that category lol) so no we dont pounce on everyone we see. we have about the same pool of partners as any other person, just some of ours are the same sex to us. also as mentioned before there are different preferences within being bisexual. some are attracted to both sexes equally, some are attracted to both sexes, but one more than the other.
2. bisexuals are confused, bisexuality doesnt exist
sadly and please dont throw tomatos at me for saying this but i honestly think that bisexual people have it tougher than gay people. some dont believe that we even exist,some members of the gay community refuses to accept us and well we're not straight either so where are we supposed to fit in? tv and film can largely be blamed for the many preconcieved ideas that society has about bisexuality.
3. bisexuality is all about sex
umm no it couldnt be further from the truth. yes boobs are hot and so are penises but like any other couple we love our partners for their personality and the way they make you feel more special and loved than ever before. id also like to point out that im a virgin and ben and i being both religious are planning to not lose our virginities before marriage. another assumption is that bisexuals have overly powerful libidos...well everyone has their moments when they just want to relieve themselves or have fun with their partner or whatever, just cos we like both sexes doesnt mean we are twice as horny and have sex twice as much...
4. a bisexual person can never be fully satisfied with one sex
this infuriates me because it is COMPLETELY false. not every bi person wants a threesome (the idea has intrigued me but id never do it) bisexual people like any other person do have the ability to be faithful to our partners (though naturally some people are jerks straight gay or bi...) the fact that some gay guys assume a bi guy is going to automatically cheat on him with a woman is just offensive and untrue. we love men and women because they are just so DIFFERENT. a guy with boobs is not hot. a guy is. a woman is. (i dont have anything against transexuals btw, that's just my personal opinion)men are stong, protective, warm, have sexy deep voices and just an incredible body shape as well as that unique sense of humour. women are caring nurturing, have gorgeous curves and more emotional. see the massive distinction? if ben became feminine i think i'd faint lol :P
5. bisexual people have sex with their friends because they cant distinguish a friendship from a romantic relationship.
this is a touchy subject because its true for some and not for others or just a phase for some a they discover themselves. generally a person who is exploring the full extent of their newfound bisexuality does have problems with this but it soon subsides. i did have problems with this attraction vs likeness thing but yeah i grew out of it. i was very young at the time, but for quite a while now ive been able to easily seperate the two and ive had no problems for years now.
oh and heres a tip, dont ever ask a bi person how far they've gone with a girl because that's private, asking that is very intrusive and who says that anyone in the general public should know the most private parts of someone's life?
thanks for reading this, feel free to ask any questions you like, ill answer any queries. i know that in general people dont know much about bisexuals at all.
ive attached a lot of images of ben and i lol its sort of like our photo gallery of our relationship so far. (note the images arent really in order lol) also the last one is the first pic ever taken of us. embarassing yes but i love it :P
in this post i would like to talk to you all about a big part of myself that i'm A. not ashamed but B. i dont publicise it to everyone i see, im a pretty private person.